The Lush Movement

consuming a little too much of any and everything…

When you Know They’re Cheating… November 8, 2008

Filed under: RELATIONSHIPS, love — mzsoul @ 2:01 am
Tags: , , , ,

Once a good girls’ gone bad, she’s gone forever…” —Jay Z, Song  Cry

 

I’m what one might call a good girl. Not perfect. I’m spoiled. As Beyonce says, “When I need attention, I tend to nag.”  I can be frivolous with money. And I get horrid PMS…but I love hard and well. I spent my entire adult trying to perfect the love that I give. I am emotionally needy, but only because I have to replenish all that I give…

 

I hadn’t talked to a friend in the past few months. We live miles away, but she was my shoulder to lean on during my last (lack of) relationship. She was the one person I felt comfortable with enough to cry over someone so unworthy. She is a friend. When talked the other night and she told me that her mate had been unfaithful (too). Just like every female in my love life, her partner found it easier to get in someone else’s bed than to deal…I have no doubt that he loves her. But I know that love isn’t everything…

 

My friend is a dedicated mother. She has a son with special needs and twins—need I say more? Most of our conversations are about her children, husband and how she is giving them all. She is a beautiful person, shit, if she was a lesbian…I haven’t heard her complain, but I haven’t heard her talk about getting pampered or taking time out for herself, either.

 

She is a woman. And like most of us, she does what she feels she’s supposed to do, so there is no need to complain. You don’t get a medal for that, right? Whatever!!!

 

Beyonce and Ciarra are singing songs about being boys. Jazmine Sullivan is breaking windows out of cars…Song or no song, Karma is a bitch. If you are a cheater, or someone who takes wonderful beautiful things for granted—why? What is the point? Is it the high of risking what’s precious, or is it narcissism and feeling that you are the center of the universe and not caring about how bad it will hurt your lover? Why don’t cheaters fall for cheaters and leave the faithful people to themselves?

 

Let me know…

 

The 7 Signs of Cheating:

 

Perhaps the most heartbreaking feeling in the world is when you suspect your mate is cheating on you. You can easily become overwhelmed by feelings of betrayal and lack of trust.

 

But if you have suspicions about your mate’s faithfulness, it’s important to keep your head. After all, you could be completely wrong. Before you start making accusations, you should try to gather whatever evidence you can. Start by looking for these tell-tale signs he is cheating:

 

1. Your woman’s intuition tells you something is wrong…Feeling lonely when they’re around is the best way to describe it…

 

2. They tell you one thing and you find out another–they say they are going out with Keisha and them, but you see Keisha and them at the mall… 

 

3. Lack of intimacy. You talk less and rarely spend time alone together. You get the feeling that you’re just not connecting anymore…Hello, anyone home???

 

4. Lack of sex…I’m tired…Yeah, ok…

 

5. They stop including you in things that used to be things that you do together…All of a sudden, they want to go to the market alone…

 

6. Being Secretive about things that they say are insignificant…Damn, baby, it’s not that deep… 

 

7. You notice a strange number in his cell phone and he denies or lies about who it is. A friend who only has initials

 

 

 

 

 

don’t be shy… November 7, 2008

40 people came by my place today…why not leave your mark? Let me know what you think of my thoughts…I’d appreciate it.

thanks!

 

You Should Put a Ring on It! November 7, 2008

self-love

Last night, when I got home from work, I sat on the toilet (damn, that was T.M.I.). I sat thinking, “damn, another night alone.” See, this is my first time being alone. I mean, totally alone. Not in the spiritual sense. But for the first time in my adult life, there is no sex buddy, no booty call, no friend that I call for company, no potentials, no prototype. Shit, I don’t even have a roommate. Just me and my cat Ameerah (who by the way sat in her litter as I sat on mine). As I sulked, I reached over and picked up Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’. I opened to the title page and there I’d written this: “what is relationship with the present moment???”

When I wrote that, I was going through hell and high water with my ex. I realized, sitting there last night, that when I was with her, I was more lonely than I am presently as a single woman. I realized that I didnt even have my self.

Tonight, it’s just me and Ameerah again. But I realize that I am not as single as I thought I was. I am in relationship with the present moment. And she is good to me. She gives me peace, love and security. And I love her back.

Still living in the past? Try the present moment. If it weren’t for her, the past would be the right here, right now, and if your past is anything like mine–you should be grateful. She is waiting for you to see her beauty, and to embrace all that she is offering you…Don’t take her for granted, for once she is gone, you can never get her back.

Peace (or at least quiet)—

Mz.Soul