Last night, when I got home from work, I sat on the toilet (damn, that was T.M.I.). I sat thinking, “damn, another night alone.” See, this is my first time being alone. I mean, totally alone. Not in the spiritual sense. But for the first time in my adult life, there is no sex buddy, no booty call, no friend that I call for company, no potentials, no prototype. Shit, I don’t even have a roommate. Just me and my cat Ameerah (who by the way sat in her litter as I sat on mine). As I sulked, I reached over and picked up Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’. I opened to the title page and there I’d written this: “what is relationship with the present moment???”
When I wrote that, I was going through hell and high water with my ex. I realized, sitting there last night, that when I was with her, I was more lonely than I am presently as a single woman. I realized that I didnt even have my self.
Tonight, it’s just me and Ameerah again. But I realize that I am not as single as I thought I was. I am in relationship with the present moment. And she is good to me. She gives me peace, love and security. And I love her back.
Still living in the past? Try the present moment. If it weren’t for her, the past would be the right here, right now, and if your past is anything like mine–you should be grateful. She is waiting for you to see her beauty, and to embrace all that she is offering you…Don’t take her for granted, for once she is gone, you can never get her back.
Peace (or at least quiet)—
Mz.Soul
cool post! I relate and got a lot out of it.